Being a mother has been the most life changing role in my life, it’s come with so many good lessons, and unforgettable moments. With all that, I’ve also had to face some really bittersweet moments with my body.
When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was twenty-two years old and fit. I had just recently lost about twenty pounds and felt proud of where I was, mentally and physically. I’m not sure if it was because it was my first pregnancy, but I felt at ease with my body and quickly fell into a content state of mind of no longer working out or eating right. Every woman has a different outlook on pregnancy, how to take care of yourself, how to feel about yourself, etc. As the months went by and my baby kept developing just right, I became more lethargic. Everything seemed like a chore, waking up was hard enough on my body. All-in-all, it was a really great pregnancy.
During the nine months of carrying, I didn’t think too much about my body nor did I have too many issues with it. I knew I was growing a human in me which was no easy task and part of me felt really proud that my body could do that, and do it well.
After I delivered, I knew I couldn’t go back to working out immediately so I waited it out as instructed and figured with time I would go back to the routine I had before I got pregnant and I would lose all the baby weight and in a few months I’d be back into my high waisted jeans with my cute crop tops.
I WAS WRONG.
This year I’ve promised myself to focus on me and get healthier. Dan and I plan to work on baby number two by the end of this year. I’d really love to begin that journey by being healthy and doing the second pregnancy completely different.
Billie Jo is about to be ten months in a few days, I still haven’t lost any baby weight but I really also haven’t put too much effort in it. It’s hard balancing a life with a baby in your hands, and I’m lucky because I get to stay at home with my daughter every day. Maybe it’s been a lack of motivation on my part but it might also be the pressure being put on me by family members.
Let’s go on a quick detour. I grew up in a Mexican family who was sweet and loving and vain. I say that with no shame. I’ve always admired the way my mom kept up with her hair, nails, style and even weight. A mom of three and in her 50’s and boy….she looks good. My dad, the same, a man in his 60’s and always looking out for the best of shoes, cologne, outerwear, etc.
I’ve always really admired their way of being even though I’ve always known that’s not how I am.
After my pregnancy, I knew I wanted to lose weight but I also knew it was going to be a lot of hard work and dedication.
I knew I could do it because I had once done it before and now I had a team behind me, my husband and daughter.
As soon as I would get inspired though, I quickly fell into a hole of pressure and criticism from my parents. Now, understand, they’re not bad people. They’ve always looked out for the absolute best for me and I also knew myself that loosing weight would be good for my health. It’s not so much that they wanted me to lose weight that bothered me…it’s always been the way it’s been said to me or directed to me. It’s always felt like an obligation and it’s never a way I’ve wanted to look at it.
I’m not super heavy but I’m not even close to where I want to be.
It’s crazy to me how society can pressure a new mother into thinking how wrong it is to be a certain size after just doing one of the most important tasks any human can do, bring a new human into the world. A little harsh, if you ask me.
Growing up I always heard a saying “Hasta lo que no comes te hace daño” – which literally translates to “Even what you don’t eat, makes you sick” which sounds kind of weird in English now that I think about but it just means that even what doesn’t directly impact you, it still manages to bother you. I feel like postpartum body is that for a lot of people.
I was one of those people. I remember commenting so cruelly about how thick a woman could be after just having a baby. Um, no shit.
It sad to see that society has projected this way of being for new moms.
I want to lose weight for me; because I choose what I want to do with my body.
I want to be healthier so that I have more years with my kids and husband.
I want the world to understand that what I do with my body is my choice.
This year will be different and I’ll take a whole different approach to my well-being, physically and mentally.
I invite all mom’s and dad’s and even those who aren’t mom and dad’s to better yourself this year along with me.